There are some days that I fully regret being a grad school student.
Today is one of those days.
I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks, my body is exhausted, and I don’t even want to THINK about any of my assignments.
So because I’m a brat and because I need to get rid of some of this stress, I became a member of Massage Envy, where I get a massage every month.
Hey, it was either get a massage every month or go drown my sorrows in alcohol. I’m pretty sure I made a the right choice. Well, at least the choice that’s best for my liver.
Anyway, I just finished getting a massage and dude, it freaking hurt. I mean, this lady dug her hands into my back so hard that it was painful. As I laid there face down with my face in that pillow with a hole in it (which is really uncomfortable, btw), all I kept doing was trying to hold in all the profanities that I wanted to scream.
After about 3 minutes of pure torture, I realized…
I NEED TO TELL HER!
I need to tell her that she’s hurting me. You know why?
Because she’s not a freaking mind reader.
I think too often we believe, we assume, rather, that people know exactly what we want.
They usually don’t.
In relationships, it’s the same.
Communicating with our partner is key to getting what we want. We can’t just assume that they’ll know what’ll make us happy. We can’t assume that they’ll know what pisses us off, either (although it would be helpful).
We need to talk about things. We need to communicate. It’s really not that difficult.
And we need to because we can’t read minds (and thank God that we can’t because think about all the terrible thoughts that go through your head sometimes…yea, exactly).
But this concept applies to work too, you know.
Our bosses can’t possibly know what we want all the time. Likewise, our employees can’t know what we expect of them if we don’t communicate these expectations.
I got my first promotion by simply asking for it. I was working as a secretary and I was bored out of my mind. I felt that I could be doing so much more. So nicely, I went to my boss and I told her how I felt. And you know what? She listened. She told me to be patient and that she’d do what she could to see that I was given more responsibility. Within a few months, she had created a new job for me and I was promoted. I was so grateful.
But you see, I could have remained frustrated at my job. I could have held in all my feelings and been mad at my boss and felt under appreciated. I could have done those things. But you know what? My boss would have never known how I felt. She would have never thought there was anything wrong and I wouldn’t have been given that new position.
If you want something badly enough, you have to ask for it.
Because usually, it’s not going to be handed to you. It’s really not.
There are way too many people that want what you want and there are way too many people that want for you to NOT get what you want (hope you enjoyed reading that sentence!)
Figure out what you want, then ask for it, nicely. That’s the only way you’re ever going to get it.
And if it doesn’t work out, well, just go get a massage. But make sure you don’t let your masseuse torture you.
“The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he’s going” – Unknown.